The truth is, I’ve been struggling.

It’s not a bad struggle though. It’s the kind of struggle that only an emotionally charged writer knows. I’ve been struggling in the sense that I’m not struggling.

My writing, my platform (or lack thereof LOL) is all inspired by my emotional turmoil and the lessons I’ve learned from experiencing really hard shit firsthand. Not to say that I’ve aired all of my grievances, but dare I say that… I don’t feel the need to?

It’s a foreign feeling for me, really. All my life I’ve filled pages upon pages with my thoughts and feelings. & I’ve never been one to shy away from talking about what’s written in the deep crevices of my most sacred journals, even with complete strangers. I’m truthfully the worst at not talking about… well, everything. But for the first time in a looong time, I want to be completely present in the fact that I am doing well.

I’ve confided in those closest to me that I’ve hit a hurdle – a writing hurdle that is. I’m not writing about overcoming hard things because I’m not really going through hard things. I’ve moved thousands of miles away from where most of my traumas have occurred, I’ve gotten a new job, I’m ENGAGED (hello if you missed that where tf have you been), and I am undoubtedly experiencing an earth-shattering unconditional love with my very best friend every single day.

Now don’t take all of this for something that it’s not. I have hard days, hard decisions & I still get in a pissy mood here and there. But to write about any of that would feel wrong, because there has not been a single thing that has consumed me as much as happiness and love have consumed me as of late. & how can I write about those things without feeling like I’m bragging?

So really… what does a writer do when things go right?

For me, I guess the answer to that question is to keep things close to my chest for now. To be present through the times where my cheeks hurt from smiling, my belly aches from laughter and my eyes radiate happiness. To re-visit the past only when it tugs at my heartstrings, and to keep quiet when I feel that it’s right.

…Until shit hits the fan, of course 😉

However, when a sappy 25-minute read (specifically about how I am disgustingly in love and planning the most epic queer wedding of 2025) comes ouuutttt…. don’t say I didn’t warn you <3

I love you. Thank you for being here.