and maybe a letter to yours, too.

Dear younger me,

First things first – please stop putting the letter Z on the end of every word you use… please.

When Mom & Dad tell you that life isn’t fair, it’s not only because they don’t want you to stay the night at your friends house for the fourth night in a row. Life really isn’t fair. But don’t take that too far, you still have a lot of privilege, and you’re very lucky to have the life that you do.

One day you’ll realize why Mom saves the extra $0.30 and gets the off-brand snacks. And yes, you will end up doing the same. Because sometimes they’re better and other times you can’t even tell the difference.

Your bickering with Dad will continue well into your adult years, It’ll be about everything and also sometimes nothing. He’s headstrong, extremely opinionated and stubborn. So are you. You are a carbon copy of him, but with different views on just about everything. I won’t encourage you to stop arguing, but I’ll tell you that you’ll never win. Neither will he 😉

Stop wearing hoodies everyday. It’s only going to create more insecurities for you. Hyperhidrosis isn’t gross, and it’s not your fault. You’re only making it worse by trying to cover it up. You will try everything under the sun to get rid of it, but nothing is perfect and just about all of it will hurt. It’ll get better with age. Just let yourself be sweaty. Who cares? Well… you care, don’t you? Here’s some food for thought –

Do you look at other peoples under arms and judge them based off of how much sweat is pooling on their shirt?

Do you look at their thighs and think ‘No thigh gap, what’s wrong with you’ ?

Do you analyze every part of another persons body while you’re talking to them?

Do you look at their eyelashes and think “without mascara, you aren’t feminine enough.”

You don’t. & you never will. So why are you doing it to yourself?

It’s easier said than done, I know. You won’t only struggle with the image of yourself as a young girl. You will read every self-love poem you can find, and you will share every positive quote and you will write all the things. The intrusive thoughts might sneak up on you for the rest of your life, but it gets better.

You’re really good at giving advice, but be careful who you give it to. And remember to take your own! (you’re not good at doing so, even at 25)

Stop rushing your childhood and enjoy the moment. Bask in it. Romanticize it. Stop saying I can’t wait until I’m 16, 18, 21, 25… Because one day you will reach the ages that you so fancied so much & you’ll plead to go back. You’ll beg, barter & wish so badly that you could be a child again, even just for a few minutes.

Growing up will suck. But there is so much beauty to be found in life. You will struggle in many ways, things will go wrong and you might think that nothing will ever go right… But in the wise words of Dad — It will always be okay.

You will think you’ve fallen in love, and then you will fall out of it. Listen to your heart. Follow your gut. It will never lead you astray. You will find your person. You will find true love, and you will understand why it panned out the way it did.

You will explore in allllll of the ways. Learn to live in the moment, and don’t stress the things you can’t control.

Be. Present.

You stress a lot, and while that’s not necessarily your fault and it can be really hard to control, it takes away from moments that deserve to be cherished.

The last thing you want is to look back on something and think wow. I wish I would’ve stopped and embraced the smell of the chlorinated water feature, or closed my eyes and truly felt the wind whistling alongside my ears.

You will experience things you’ve spent time daydreaming about. Don’t let them pass you by without acknowledgment.

You’re not always right. One day you will learn that it’s not always worth the argument.

You will give your love to people who don’t deserve it. It will hurt, but you will learn from it.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions, and then let them pass. Acknowledge them, but don’t become them. This won’t always be possible – because you know just as well as I do – that you truly are a serial grudge holder. But for the most part, you should allow feelings to pass through you rather than live inside of you.

Your life – so far anyway – is far off track from what you imagined, but in the best way possible. You aren’t married or even engaged, and you certainly don’t have kids at 25. I know this might make you freak out, but what’s the rush? You’ll grow into this mindset, whether you believe that or not.

You will change. You will be a different person what feels like 50 times over. Do not let anyone tell you that it’s a bad thing. How do you expect to be the person you want to be without change, without progression? Respectfully, if you carry the same mindset throughout your entire life… you’re screwed.

Therapy is soooo good!!!! Don’t be embarrassed by it. I mean I know you still will be, for now at least. Would you believe me if I told you that even at the age of 20 you preached therapy to everyone? No matter if you’re going through everything or nothing – you’re a die-hard therapy stan, girl!

With that being said, people will lie about you. They won’t believe you, and you’ll be manipulated to think that what has happened to you truly hasn’t. But you know who will believe you, who will stick by you & validate you always? Your therapist. MMMMMHHHMMMM.

Sometime you will lose sight of yourself – that’s okay.

This should be the biggest mental note you’ve ever made:
People don’t actually care that much.

Nobody truly pays attention to the fact that your one piece of hair isn’t as straight as the others. They don’t look at your brown shoes with black pants and have nightmares about it. No one is thinking about that one time your shoe laces were untied while running to class, and absolutely no one cares that your jeans are cuffed one-too-many times. And if they do, that’s a reflection of them. Not you.

Wear the band t-shirts without knowing a single song by said band. It’s an article of clothing, it’s not that serious.

Unfortunately, the bullying won’t stop at grade-school. You’ll experience it well into adulthood. In fact, at 25 I can’t even tell you that it’s stopped, and I don’t know that it ever will. You will learn how to brush it off, and you will learn yet again that it is a reflection of other people & their own insecurities. It truly has nothing to do with you and who you are. Don’t let other people define you. Only you have control over your story and your life.

You won’t always be sad, or insecure. But you also won’t always be happy, feel like smiling and you definitely won’t always want to get out of bed. You’re human – this is normal.

There will be times when you have to be the loudest voice in the room. You’ll be scared, but do it anyway.

Don’t be afraid to speak up.

Don’t let people tell you “that isn’t ladylike”, because honestly you are and always have been every contradiction to the word. In the best way possible of course.

Be loud. Be kind. Use curse words. Be an advocate. Love yourself. Love others. Keep an open mind. Be yourself.

& never let tomorrow’s problems ruin today.

I love you. Thank you for being here.