I’ve thought a lot about this post since I first began drafting it up. What you’re about to read is something I began – and for the most part completed – a few weeks back. Since then, I’ve thought about maybe having a softer approach, starting from scratch and eliminating most of my original ideas, even. I felt that what you’re about to read was maybe too harsh, or entirely fueled by and filled with too much anger. I figured coming from a place of understanding and compassion might be better.
But something in me decided that, no. I shouldn’t continue to minimize myself for the sake of others. I should not seek to be “more reasonable” for those who cannot – and even those who can – do so themselves. Because quite frankly, I’m not understanding on this.
I’m not writing out of anger, in fact I am writing out of fear. I am terrified for my future – our future. I would be doing myself a disservice if I took a different approach on this. I guess what I am trying to say is that maybe you’ll find the following to be intolerant. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you know exactly how I’m feeling. Maybe you don’t. Maybe some of you will finally hear me. Maybe you won’t.
With a major election looming on our countries’ doorstep, I feel it’s only right that I come out of the woodwork and get some things off my chest. If for no other reason, I’ve just never been one to shy away from talking politics and/or sharing my opinion in general.
I am not going to beat around the bush – there is a lot at stake in this 2024 election. Though we’ve all been saying that for 8 years now, I feel as though the weight of this one is sitting heavier than ever on the shoulders of myself and so many others.
Tell me this… What do you lose if this election doesn’t go the way you want it to?
I think for some of you, you may rattle off ideas about the economy, trade policies, or taxes – All of which to your credit are considered valid political concerns. For myself, the answer is much more personal. The answer has more to do with humanity.
What do I stand to lose if this election doesn’t go how I hope it might? My right to marry, my right to have children with my partner, my right to make certain medical decisions over my own body and have those medical decisions remain private, my right to exist outside of a baby-making, homesteading, assumed-heterosexual machine… just to name a few.
And sure, what I say will go in one ear & out the other for most. But I want you to really think about this. I want you to think about the fact that my wedding – to which I am marrying another woman – is scheduled just 5 days after the presidential inauguration.
To put it plainly – If Donald Trump gets elected as president, my marriage cannot wait until then. “Oh but they would never ban gay marriage” – I’m sure you believe that just as much as you believed they wouldn’t overturn Roe v. Wade.
I’m sure you’ll also say, “Well none of that affects me.” Are you a woman? Do you have daughters? Granddaughters? Do you care about the lives of the women closest to you? Do you have queer friends or family? If you say no, you’re probably wrong. Do you care about anyone other than yourself? Do you even know what you’re fighting for anymore?
This election goes far beyond your average political disagreements, to which even then most have been led astray.
I’m starting to believe that people might think I’m joking when I tell them “If you vote for Donald Trump, we can’t be friends.” Well I want you to hear me now, and I want you to really digest every ounce of what I am about to say:
If you vote for Donald Trump, we are not friends. You do not truly care bout me. You do not truly love me.
You will say it’s not that deep, or we should just be able to disagree. I mean sure, we can disagree on legalizing recreational marijuana or who really fucked up the economy.
What we can’t disagree on is my right to exist.
The phrase “let’s agree to disagree” is so profoundly privileged. This is more than immigration or minimum wage – this is about whether or not you’re willing to fight for the rights of your loved ones. Your daughters, your wives, your family and your friends.
Why are you okay with voting against them? Make no mistake, that’s what this is.
It’s a spineless choice, really. To think that a racist felon with a history of sexual assault, a weird infatuation with Putin, and declining cognitive function is your ideal candidate. How can anyone tell their children, grandchildren, their loved ones that this is the guy that’s going to improve our country?
How can my friends and family justify themselves when I ask them what I did to get my rights taken away? Why my nieces don’t deserve the same freedoms that past generations were granted? Don’t you want better for your children? Why do you think they deserve that?
I’m certain it wasn’t always this way. I hope that there will again be a day where we can agree to disagree on who should lead our country, and the policies that they intend to put in place. That time is not now.
The year I turned 18 was 2016. My first voting experience was the general presidential election – Trump v. Hillary Clinton. I didn’t fully understand the weight of these decisions, and I was overcome with the idea that my vote didn’t actually count. Nonetheless, I exercised my right to vote and then proceeded to watch people cry on national television as the results were rolling in. I thought wow.. why are they crying?
The next presidential election: 2020. I was a deeply closeted queer woman who now understood why those folks were crying. Four years older, more educated & fiercely passionate about what really mattered to me (and what I believe should matter to everyone, to be frank). I took my passion and emotion and did my best to inform – and at some points beg and plead with – my friends and family about how important this choice was and all that it meant. For reasons maybe they didn’t understand then, but hopefully do now. I stayed up night & day as the results started rolling in. No exaggeration, I was watching the news somehow, someway 24/7. I had even propped my phone up & let it play on my bedside table while I slept. My partner at the time questioned why I was “so obsessed with the outcome”. So obsessed… Why aren’t they just as concerned about this as I am? I cried tears of relief as it was announced Biden had won. Not because I love Joe Biden, because I felt the phantom weight lift from my shoulders.
I shook with fear on January 6th, 2021. I cried of fear in June of 2022. I’ve been filled with fear many days since, wondering if Serrena & I should get legally married before it was too late. The Respect for Marriage Act soothed my anxiety for a bit. Still, I worry today wondering if our January wedding will be clouded by fear for our future.
Will my marriage be safe? Will I have access to medical care that allows me to have biological children? If so, will pregnancy risk my life due to lack of proper medical care in the event of complications? & if not, will we be allowed to adopt children? Will my friends and family endure the same tough decisions? Where will we be safe to live our day to day lives? Where does it stop?
Though it shouldn’t be, maybe it’s easy to brush off from the outside. I recognize that so much of me is privileged in countless ways. I can’t begin to comprehend the fear, the anger, the exhaustion that other communities affected by the hate of the republican party must feel.
There is so much more to say (i.e., gun control, climate change, Project 2025, inflation, convicted felons running for president, etc.!!!) So much that no amount of blog posts, headlines, or Instagram stories can cover.
I’m quieter on some issues than others, sure. I often say wrong things, and I will buy political merchandise while simultaneously saying “never trust the government”. Regardless, I know that I’m on the right side of history. Can you say the same?
I almost want to say that I am tired of fighting this ridiculous political fight, both literally and figuratively. The truth is, I will never be the gal to stand idly by. Blame my tender heart and stubborn mind – both a blessing and a curse.
I am not here to persuade anyone to vote one way or the other. For that, it’s far too late. For those that choose to vote for Donald Trump, you’ve likely been doing so for years and despite all he’s done – personal and political – there is no swaying you. You’re voting for hate and division. You don’t give a shit about policy. If you don’t see that, it’s time to reflect.
To reiterate: I am voting for the freedom and the rights of women and girls everywhere, including those that you love. I am voting for the lgbtq+ community. I am voting for your children. I am voting for the true American Dream.
If you’re not doing the same, I genuinely question your humanity.
I know I will be on the right side of history. I know who and what I’m fighting for. Do you?
Thank you for being here.
Find voting information & resources here: https://iwillvote.com/
